When you are rejected for a job.

When I talk to, or coach, people looking for work today, I never stop being amazed by some of the knock backs they have to deal with. Quite superb candidates with brilliant experience find themselves being rejected at least once before they hook that special job. Sometimes, it is a lot more than once. They have to learn to deal with disappointment.

To survive you have to become resilient – it is how you handle the news that is all important.

First, don’t take it personally. Panels make decisions based on what they read and what they made of you at the interview. Sometimes that is supplemented by the results from an assessment centre. Then they make a subjective judgement about the best fit for the role.

Their judgement is about a particular role, at that particular point of time. It is their view on that occasion and it is not about your value as a human being.

Second, use this as an opportunity to learn. Get all the feedback you can from the panel. If they don’t offer you an opportunity to discuss your application and the interview, then ask for one. You will find most reputable organizations will have a discussion with you, if you have got to interview stage.

Their feedback is valuable. Try not to be defensive, take a deep breath and listen as objectively as you can to what they have to offer. But weigh their views up for yourself; don’t just take it at face value. Do you agree with what they say? What is the evidence?

Third, after your discussion, send a thank you note to the hiring manager, the recruiter, and who ever took the time-out to give you feedback.

You are not saying thank you out of sheer politeness or gratitude. They may have already offered the job to someone else but that person may change their mind and never start the job. Or the person may take the job but prove to be unsatisfactory. It happens more often than you think.

Filling a job takes an employer a lot of time and energy. Staff time for interviews plus the cost of posting the job, etc. is expensive for most employers. Your follow-up discussion plus your thank you note will mark you out. It will remind them of you, particularly, if you include a request that they get in touch with you if the situation changes or another job becomes available.

Take some time out to reflect positively on the experience you have been through and what you have learned from it. Now it is time to move on! Sometimes things just happen! You can’t change what has gone before, but you can make sure that your reaction turns into three steps forward and not one step back.

If you are serious about furthering your career while having a good life at home, I think you will find our new programme interesting! http://gettingtherewithwisewolf.com/

Wendy Mason is a career coach working mainly with managers and professionals who want to make that jump to senior level while maintaining a good work/life balance. Before working as a coach, Wendy had a long career in both the public and private sectors in general management and consultancy as well as spells in HR. She now divides her time between face to face coaching, and coaching and blogging on-line. You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com and find out more at http://wisewolfcoaching.com

Getting There – Wendy’s Career and Personal Development Programme