Tag: resilience

Do you have an ability to bounce back?

Posted on by Wendy Mason

motivational-quotes-the-harder-you-fall-the-higher-you-bounce-backA quality that marks out many successful people is their resilience. They seem to have an outstanding ability to bounce back.

Psychological resilience is about how well you deal with stress, resolve problems and handle misfortune. No one goes through life without set-backs. Issues that test your ability to bounce back can emerge at work or outside. Health problems and financial pressures may require great resilience to handle. With resilience you can usually bounce back from misfortune.

Some people seem born with this natural ability to bounce back. But, if you are not so lucky, resilience is a skill that can be learned by virtually anyone. It is strengthened by an optimistic outlook and a positive approach to life. Resilience is about coming out of a deeply stressful situation strengthened and having learned from the experience.

Resilience is best understood as a process. This includes;

  • Knowing how to analyse what is going on around you
  • Making plans to handle the situation
  • Having confidence in your ability to carry out your plans
  • Knowing how to communicate and get support when you need it
  • Handling your strong feelings and emotions.

People who look for the best in any situation, are prepared to be flexible in their approach and focused on solving problems, seem most resilient. A sense of humour in the face of adversity always helps; humour seems to improve the immune system. People with perseverance and passion for their long-term goals often manage to overcome huge obstacles on the way.

The American Psychological Association suggests “10 Ways to Build Resilience.” These are:

  1. Maintaining good relationships with family and friends
  2. Avoiding seeing crises or stressful events as unbearable problems
  3. Learning to accept what cannot be changed
  4. Developing realistic goals and moving towards them
  5. Taking decisive actions in adverse situations
  6. Looking for opportunities for self-discovery after a struggle with loss
  7. Developing self-confidence
  8. Keeping a long-term perspective and considering the stressful event in a broader context
  9. Maintaining a hopeful outlook, expecting good things and visualizing what is wished for
  10. Taking care of your mind and body, exercising regularly; paying attention to your own needs and feelings

Unfortunately, there can be many circumstances in life which militate against the development of all these characteristics in early life. Luckily you can take steps to develop your resilience at any time. It is never too early or too late to start learning to bounce.

Wendy Smith is a personal coach and writer at Wisewolf Coaching. She is a qualified coach and a member of the Association for Coaching as well as being a member of the Institute of Consulting and a graduate of the Common Purpose leadership programme. She is the author of “The WiseWolf Job Search Pocket Book: How to Win Jobs and Influence Recruiters” as well as two novels and a number of articles on management and well-being. Her new latest publication is a little eBook; “How to Get on With the Boss,”  You can contact Wendy at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

When you are rejected for a job.

Posted on by Wendy Mason

When you are rejected for a job.

When I talk to, or coach, people looking for work today, I never stop being amazed by some of the knock backs they have to deal with. Quite superb candidates with brilliant experience find themselves being rejected at least once before they hook that special job.  Sometimes, it is a lot more than once. They have to learn to deal with disappointment.

To survive you have to become resilient – it is how you handle the news that is all important.

First, don’t take it personally. Panels make decisions based on what they read and what they made of you at the interview.  Sometimes that is supplemented by the results from an assessment centre. Then they make a subjective judgement about the best fit for the role.

Their judgement is about a particular role, at that particular point of time. It is their view on that occasion and it is not about your value as a human being.

Second, use this as an opportunity to learn. Get all the feedback you can from the panel. If they don’t offer you an opportunity to discuss your application and the interview, then ask for one. You will find most reputable organizations will have a discussion with you, if you have got to interview stage.

Their feedback is valuable. Try not to be defensive, take a deep breath and listen as objectively as you can to what they have to offer. But weigh their views up for yourself; don’t just take it at face value. Do you agree with what they say? What is the evidence?

Third, after your discussion, send a thank you note to the hiring manager, the recruiter, and who ever took the time-out to give you feedback.

You are not saying thank you out of sheer politeness or gratitude. They may have already offered the job to someone else but that person may change their mind and never start the job. Or the person may take the job but prove to be unsatisfactory. It happens more often than you think.

Filling a job takes an employer a lot of time and energy. Staff time for interviews plus the cost of posting the job, etc. is expensive for most employers. Your follow-up discussion plus your thank you note will mark you out. It will remind them of you, particularly, if you include a request that they get in touch with you if the situation changes or another job becomes available.

Take some time out to reflect positively on the experience you have been through and what you have learned from it. Now it is time to move on! Sometimes things just happen! You can’t change what has gone before, but you can make sure that your reaction turns into three steps forward and not one step back.

If  you are serious about furthering your career while having a good life at home, I think you will find our new programme interesting!   http://gettingtherewithwisewolf.com/

Wendy Mason is a career coach working mainly with managers and professionals who want to make that jump to senior level while maintaining a good work/life balance. Before working as a coach, Wendy had a long career in both the public and private sectors in general management and consultancy as well as spells in HR.  She now divides her time between face to face coaching, and coaching and blogging on-line. You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com and find out more at http://wisewolfcoaching.com

Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta

Successful Leaders Need Mental Toughness And This Is Something Anyone Can Learn

Posted on by Wendy Mason

Unit cell of the diamond cubic crystal structureImage via Wikipedia


My last post said that with practice you can learn to think positively and confidently about making changes.  You   can develop a resilient mindset.  This post takes this further and offers help!

People with inborn talent may be good at what they do—but experience shows that only the mentally tough reach the highest plateaus in their field.

Mental toughness is something anyone can learn.

Director of mental training for the St. Louis Cardinals and a top-tier executive coach, Dr. Jason Selk knows everything there is to know about developing mental toughness!

Inspired on the vision of legendary basketball coach John Wooden, Dr Selk has developed a program that is as simple as it is effective.

But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

You will have to put effort in if you are serious about being successful.  
But this is a great way to build up your mental “muscles.” 

Dr Selk provides hands-on daily exercises for breaking old, self-defeating patterns of behaviour.  You can replace them with the can-do attitude and positive behavior that would make Coach Wooden proud.

ExecutiveToughness outlines the three fundamentals for attaining high-level success:

  • ACCOUNTABILITY—admit to mistakes, correct them, and, most important, learn from them
  • FOCUS—on your strengths, on winning, on reaching your goal . . . for only 100 seconds per day
  • OPTIMISM—don’t just believe you can succeed, know you can succeed

Executive Toughness takes you through the steps of making these critical behaviours part of your everyday routine.

Practice your accountability, focus, and optimism!

Then,you’ll be on the path to attaining your goals!

Make them part of your mental “DNA” and there will be no turning back—ever.

ExecutiveToughness could be your workout for success in your career and in your life.
US Link

http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?lt1=_blank&bc1=000000&IS2=1&bg1=FFFFFF&fc1=000000&lc1=0000FF&t=wendychristmas-20&o=1&p=8&l=as4&m=amazon&f=ifr&ref=ss_til&asins=0071786783

UK Link
http://rcm-uk.amazon.co.uk/e/cm?lt1=_blank&bc1=000000&IS2=1&bg1=FFFFFF&fc1=000000&lc1=0000FF&t=wisewtalki-21&o=2&p=8&l=as4&m=amazon&f=ifr&ref=ss_til&asins=B0069QEI5C

Wendy Mason works as a Coach, Consultant and Writer. 


She works with all kinds of people going through many different kinds of personal and career change, particularly those;

  • looking for work
  • looking for promotion or newly promoted
  • moving between Public and Private Sectors
  • facing redundancy
  • moving into retirement
  • wanting to do a mid-life review

You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfconsulting.com  or ring ++44 (0)2084610114


Related articles

The Resilient Mindset – don’t let a fixed mindset defeat you.

Posted on by Wendy Mason

“Don’t change – stay right where you are”!

Nobody said change was easy.  Personal change is hard, so is changing an organization.  It is uncomfortable and risky.

That is why most of us don’t change until change is forced on us.

We don’t change; even when making a change could make a huge and positive difference for us and those about us.

Most of us have a mindset that favours staying put right where we are – a “fixed” mindset. And fixed mindsets lack resilience.

Standing still and staying where we are, can present far more danger and risk in the long term than making a change.

Changing that mindset

So how do you develop a resilient mindset?

You need to learn to challenge your own thinking.

Your fixed mindset will chatter away in your head, if you let it.  It will fill your head with negativity and erode your confidence.

The nasty fixed mindset will tell you that even if you wanted to change, you can’t do it!  You’re not bright enough! Your team isn’t strong enough!  You don’t have the brains or the talent!

This time you are going to answer back. 

“Well I’m certainly bright enough – if I see the need for change, I’m bright enough to do it.  I can learn and I can find people who can advise me.  I can learn and my team can learn!”

You fixed mindset will probably answer – “But what happens if and when you fail?

So here is your defence.  “Everyone fails sometimes.  But I’ll do it well and I’ll manage the risks – so I’ve got every chance of success”

“But” says your fixed mindset, “if you don’t make the change, you can’t fail.”

“No, but, if I don’t try, I’ve failed already!

Now your fixed mindset sneers and becomes cunning.  “Oh so it is going to be easy for you then!”

You smile wryly.  “No it isn’t going to be easy.  Nothing worth having comes easy. I’m going to do it”

Back into the shadows!

If you keep beating it back, at some point your fixed mindset will slink away into the shadows.  It won’t be dead.

It may emerge occasionally when you are feeling tired or frustrated.

But you have the upper hand now.  You know you have to find the energy to take up your sword and beat it back into the shadows again.

With practice you can learn to think positively and confidently about your change.  You will develop a resilient mindset

You can do it! You can make the change you desire – it is time to start believing. Reach for your sword and begin practicing.

http://rcm-uk.amazon.co.uk/e/cm?lt1=_blank&bc1=000000&IS2=1&bg1=FFFFFF&fc1=000000&lc1=0000FF&t=wisewtalki-21&o=2&p=8&l=as4&m=amazon&f=ifr&ref=ss_til&asins=1596597682
http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?lt1=_blank&bc1=000000&IS2=1&bg1=FFFFFF&fc1=000000&lc1=0000FF&t=wendychristmas-20&o=1&p=8&l=as4&m=amazon&f=ifr&ref=ss_til&asins=0345472322

Wendy Mason works as a Coach, Consultant and Writer. 

She works with all kinds of people going through many different kinds of personal and career change, particularly those;

  • looking for work
  • looking for promotion or newly promoted
  • moving between Public and Private Sectors
  • facing redundancy
  • moving into retirement
  • wanting to do a mid-life review

You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfconsulting.com  or ring ++44 (0)2084610114

Share

Related articles

Are you a resilient leader?

Posted on by Wendy Mason

Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity.  We need it in our personal  lives and we certainly need it at work! It means we can “bounce back” from difficult experiences.

Research has shown that resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary. People usually show resilience but that doesn’t  mean they don’t experience difficulty.

Resilience isn’t necessarily something you are born with it – you learn how to show it.  Relationships that create warmth and trust, that provide role models, and offer encouragement and reassurance help bolster a person’s resilience.

Several additional factors are associated with resilience, including:

  • The ability to make realistic plans and take steps to carry them out
  • A positive approach and confidence in yourself
  • Communication skills
  • Problem solving abilities
  • The ability to handle your own emotions

Not everyone reacts the same way to challenges.  An approach to building resilience that works for one person might not work for another.  A person’s culture probably has an impact on how he or she communicates feelings and deals with adversity

But here are some strategies for building your own resilience and encouraging it in those you lead.

  1. Develop strong connections with others!  Good relationships with other people mean that you can support each other.  This is particularly important in organizations going through difficulties – sometimes it is only team work that can pull you through!
  2. Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems. You may not be able to change what has happened but you can change how you respond.  As the leader, this will affect how others respond. Keep your eye on the bigger picture and look beyond the present to how future circumstances will be better.
  3. Accept that change happens. Certain goals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter.
  4. Move toward your goals. Develop some realistic and short term goals and start to move towards them.  That will inspire confidence in your ability to move towards your bigger goals and towards a time beyond the present problems.
  5. Take decisive actions. Act on adverse situations as much as you can and take decisive actions.  Don’t let people detach completely from problems and just wish they would just go away.
  6. Encourage people to look for opportunities for self-discovery. People often learn something about themselves in difficult circumstances and may find that they have grown in some respect as a result of the challenge.  Many people who have experienced difficulties have reported better relationships, a greater sense of strength (even while feeling vulnerable) and an  increased sense of self-worth.
  7. Encourage people to nurture a positive view of themselves. Developing confidence in their ability to solve problems and trusting their instincts helps build resilience.
  8. As the leader keep things in perspective and maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables you and them to expect that the good times will come back.  In turn that probably will speed the time it takes to resolve the problem.

I am Wendy Mason and I work as a personal and business coach, consultant and blogger.  I have worked with many different kinds of people going through personal  and career change. If you would like my help, please email me at wendymason@wisewolfconsulting.com or ring ++44(0)2084610114 or ++44(0)7867681439.  I will be very pleased to hear from you.

Related articles

GOING THROUGH MAJOR CHANGE – IS YOUR SUPPLY CHAIN RESILIENT?

Posted on by Wendy Mason

If you are going through major change the last thing you need is a key supplier to fail! Follow this link to a useful post on the G&W Consulting Blog  “Making Performance Meaningful” http://tinyurl.com/MPMReviews2 .  It will help you work out  whether your suppliers are at risk of failure.  Wisewolf and G&W have depth of experience in managing change and managing complex supply chains.  Geoff  Edmundson ( the G in G&W) has managed change and challenging supply chains in both the public and private sectors!  So have I!  We will be very happy to help with a risk and resilience review!  Follow this link to contact us for further advice