When your manager won’t talk to you!

Sadly, there seem to be a good number of managers who have problems talking to their staff.  I don’t mean the exchange of every day courtesies like Good Morning and Good Night. Although, there seem to be some who have problems uttering those simple phrases on a regular basis. What I want to talk about here is the manager who doesn’t tell you what she really thinks about your work.

If the manager says nothing, it can be very frustrating. It increases pressure and can lead to stress. You think you are doing OK, but you have no real way of knowing whether your manager agrees.

The “boss” may be pleasant. She comes in everyday and wishes you good morning. She might even ask how you are doing. But there is no real engagement. She doesn’t encourage you to give anything but the most perfunctory of answers. And she certainly doesn’t comment on the quality of your performance. Meanwhile, you are desperate to know what she really thinks and you’ve begun to suspect the worst.

This situation can feel totally demoralising. So, what can you do?

Well, you have to grasp the nettle and ask for the feedback that isn’t being volunteered.

Here is how to go about it.

First, gather your own evidence about your performance, for example, samples of your work, feedback from customers and statistics about results. Then, think about the questions you want to ask and how you are going to ask them; you don’t want to alienate your boss, if you can avoid it.

Now, ask for some time to talk. Choose your moment carefully – avoid times when your boss is likely to be under pressure or, for example, about to go to an important meeting. Make sure you get the appointment into the boss’s diary and that there is enough time for a proper discussion. Ideally, you need at least 30 minutes but not before, or immediately after, an event on which your boss needs to concentrate.

At the meeting, make sure you emphasize that it is your boss’s interests, as well as your own, that you care about. You want to make sure that you are doing the job the boss needs you to do. Avoid getting into arguments or being confrontational. Use the evidence you have collected; particularly, if you face any criticism you consider unjustified.

You are likely to pleasantly surprised; your boss is probably very happy with what you’re doing.  But, if she isn’t, you need to be told that so that you can begin to put things right.  Whatever the real situation, there is nothing to be gained by not knowing. Grasp that nettle and help your boss to help you succeed.

Wendy Smith is a personal coach and writer at Wisewolf Coaching. She is a qualified coach and a member of the Association for Coaching as well as being a member of the Institute of Consulting and a graduate of the Common Purpose leadership programme.  Wendy is author of “The WiseWolf Job Search Pocket Book: How to Win Jobs and Influence Recruiters” as well as two novels and a number of articles on management and well-being. Her latest publication is a little eBook; “How to Get on With the Boss.”  You can contact Wendy at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

How can managers reduce stress and prevent sickness?

Absences from work happen. There will always be times when staff are unable to attend work due to illness. You will never be able to stop absences from happening but it is possible to help minimise the negative effects that can lead to, cause and sustain staff absences that can stop an employee from returning to work at all.

According to research by AXA PPP healthcare, 23% of employees say they won’t tell their line manager the real reason for their absence when calling in sick because they’re afraid of being judged, with a further 15% saying they’re afraid they won’t be believed.

The way you deal with and respond to staff sickness as a manager can make a difference to how employees feel about work. As these statistics from the Office of National Statistics show, the number of absences is decreasing steadily over time – from 178 million days lost in 1993 to 131 million days lost in 2013 which could signal that the approaches to staff absences are improving.

When there is a negative approach to absences in the workplace, this can often lead to extended future absences. As a manager, it is wise to be supportive and considerate of an employee’s absence while ensuring you have the information you need to keep things running. For example, find out the reason for the absence and how long they’re likely to be off and finally find out what work will need to be picked up while they are absent. Listening and demonstrating understanding is key here.

Numerous short term absences can be disruptive to the day to day running of the workplace. Statistics collected by the Confederation of British Industry show that employees take on average 4-6 sick days a year. Logging absences will help you as a manager to spot problems and put the proper support in place and there a number of software packages available to help you do this. Absences like this can indicate serious issues with an individual or wider problems within your business. If you recognise a pattern it is important to raise this with the staff member.  A conversation is often enough to alert the staff member to any cause for concern you have about their behaviour.

Long-term sickness can affect your business in a different way to short term absences. It can be a difficult time for the staff member affected, not to mention you as their manager. In this instance it is important that you maintain a connection between the staff member and the organisation. Obviously, it is imperative that their duties are picked up to avoid any detrimental effect to the on-going productivity of the workplace, while also preparing for the staff members eventual return to work.

In the case of a long term absence from the workplace ensure the employee has given you a sick note from their doctor explaining their absence and the length of time they’re likely to be off. This should be logged with your payroll department so that the sickness can be monitored and budgets adjusted correctly.

When the staff member is ready to return to work it is important to make reasonable adjustments and provide them with the equipment to make sure they’re still able to do their job to the best of their ability. A phased return may also be an option whereby their return to work is a more gradual process. In this instance, it is best to meet with the employee before their return and plan on how best to approach their return to ensure both parties are happy with the arrangements.

Overall, there are simple ways to help prevent absences in the workplace. The most basic principle is to create a culture of openness and engagement. Lead by example, and ensure you establish clear goals and expectations for your team, so you are all working towards the same purpose. Making your staff feel valued and involved in your business will provide them with satisfaction and security in their jobs, and hopefully will persuade them away from taking numerous and unnecessary absences.

5 Tips for Managing People Who Don’t Like Managers

If everybody were the same, life would become dull pretty quickly. However, there are plenty of managers out there who wish they could pick and choose staff from a standardised ‘worker’ box. Barring complete automation of the workforce, this just isn’t going to happen.

Managers need to be able to handle all manner of people in order to get the results they, and their company, require. So, what do you do with those awkward souls who are supremely talented but see management as an authority to kick back against? You use the following five tips, that’s what! Let’s get started:

1) Put yourself in their shoes

Seeing things from the other party’s perspective may give you an insight into why they are so difficult to manage. Firstly, examine whether or not they have always acted in this way. Is it something that has started recently or have they always found authority difficult?

If it is a recent thing there may be an external factor causing the difficulties – it may even be your own management style! You need to be open and honest in order to work out what is happening here; it may not be the employee who needs to change.

2) Embrace conflict

Now this doesn’t mean you need to enjoy getting into squabbles with your staff, far from it, but you do need to make sure that you are addressing it in the right way. Conflict is inevitable in management; if the thought of it fills you with dread then you are likely in the wrong position.

Handling conflict in the right way means being fair and direct. Do not avoid it and definitely do not steamroller your way through it. Listen to the issues being presented and look for a constructive outcome that will resolve the problem at hand.

3) Make work goals laser focused

In order to remove any ambiguity that could result in a disagreement, it is important to set clear goals and objectives for your staff. Failing to do so leaves things open to misinterpretation and that could result in a member of staff feeling as though they are being poorly treated.

If your goals are clear-cut there is no room for argument, they’ve either been met or they haven’t. Setting proper targets for your staff lets them know where they stand and makes the job of evaluating their performance that much easier.

4) Know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em

Computers in Personnel can help with the recruitment process but it takes time to find out exactly how someone operates in the field, as it were. Regardless of their talent, staff still need to be able to listen and heed what they are being told to do. If someone is being overly problematic you will need to evaluate whether or not they are becoming a liability to the business as a whole. It doesn’t take long for discontent to spread in an office environment; so bad apples need to be rooted out as soon as possible.

However, this doesn’t mean behaving like a dictator either. It simply means that if a member of staff has been given a fair crack of the whip and still continues to cause problems, you have to assess their worth to the company.

5) Be aware that management is never plain sailing

My final tip is not so much one for handling others as much as it is one for handling oneself. Knowing that management is a tough job will give you a better perspective on the task at hand. Management isn’t easy, but that’s why you are getting paid more than your team. Simply being aware of this fact can lighten the load considerably and free you up to do what you do best, managing people.

Time to practice your close reading skills?

I’ve joined a short on-line course from Sheffield University and Future Learn on the literature of the English country house. I’m sure the subject has been chosen with Downton House fans in mind. Simply, I thought it would keep me entertained on lovely, long, summer evenings.

The course started with a refresher on close reading and the lecturer chose a passage from Twelfth Night for us to work on. It’s a play I love and full of ambiguity. The action centres on the twins Viola and Sebastian, who are separated in a shipwreck. Viola (who is disguised as a boy) falls in love with Duke Orsino, who in turn is in love with the Countess Olivia. Upon meeting Viola, Countess Olivia falls in love with her thinking she is a man.

So, we practiced our close reading skills. First, we read the piece quickly for a general impression. Then, we read it a second time to confirm our first thoughts. This was followed by zooming in for key words and phrases that gave clues to the layers of meaning. It was an entertaining process, given Shakespeare’s propensity for hidden jokes and references.

I was left wondering about our obsession with speed reading. We prize how quickly we can scan the mass of text we encounter daily, be it in emails, discussion papers or reports. If we couldn’t scan quickly, we wouldn’t be able to cope at work or at home. But, we pay a price. I wonder, for example, how many corporate disasters might have been avoided, if we had the time to close read critical passages in progress reports on major programmes or to pick up the hints “between the lines” in management reports.

Have our senses and our judgment become numb from the volume of material put before us?

We need to be aware of the risk. There is a huge responsibility on authors and curators to flag up what they think are critical passages. But, at the end of the day, it is down to us and may be it is time to practice, practice, practice those close reading skills.

Wendy Smith is a personal coach and writer at Wisewolf Coaching. She is a qualified coach and a member of the Association for Coaching as well as being a member of the Institute of Consulting and a graduate of the Common Purpose leadership programme.  Wendy is author of “The WiseWolf Job Search Pocket Book: How to Win Jobs and Influence Recruiters” as well as two novels and a number of articles on management and well-being. Her latest publication is a little eBook; “How to Get on With the Boss.”  You can contact Wendy at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Your team and that unreasonable deadline!

Are you a good manager? Let us assume you are a confident and competent professional interested in your staff as people. You want to do your very best to help your team succeed in the widest sense. That means not only helping them meet their immediate work goals but developing them beyond so they fulfil their potential. And, if they can, you want your team to feel happy in what they do.

Of course, life is rarely simple. And, certainly, life at work can get very complicated indeed. As the boss, even if you are a very good manager, you find yourself sometimes dealing with conflicted emotions. Suppose you know you have an unreasonable deadline to meet. You have done all you can to change the decision that led to the deadline. Despite that, it is there: it exists! You have to meet it and you know it is going to be hard on the team. You’ve done your best to get extra resources but they are rarely available in the present climate. You doubt there is going to be any kind of financial recognition for the extra effort. You are just going to have to ask your team to do their best, even though it mean lots of stress on them.

What do you do?

Well, first, share the news. As soon as you are clear yourself about what needs to be done, tell them. If you can, tell them why the decision was made. If you want them to stay motivated, you will need to do this with care, if you, yourself, don’t think it is a good decision. Telling them your own manager is crap is not going to inspire them – as their manager that is your problem. Ask for their ideas on how best they want to approach the job.

Be prepared to help. People remember the senior manager who, when necessary, was prepared to labour beside them over a hot photocopier or to stuff envelopes.

Be clever in how you share the work out; remember to be scrupulously fair. Don’t overload your best person. Stay flexible and caring but be realistic. Ask people if they can make special arrangements to allow them to stay on at work, exceptionally.

Don’t take their good will for granted. Say please and thank you when you should, and mean it. Make the environment as pleasant as you can. Be present and engaged with people as they work. Do not be the boss who slopes off site at 6, leaving the team to finish the work. Ship in the doughnuts and ice cream if you can and be prepared to get people lifts home after work, if necessary.

Share the praise when those up the line praise you for getting the job done. Make sure you mention the contribution your team made. Remember a good team reflects well on you as manager.

If you can’t give the team formal recognition for what they have done, then make it informal. May be this is the time to think about planning that evening out that you have all talked about for a while. When review time rolls round remember the contribution people made, when you under pressure and you needed them most. A good memory goes with being a good manager.

Wendy Smith is a personal coach and writer at Wisewolf Coaching. She is a qualified coach and a member of the Association for Coaching as well as being a member of the Institute of Consulting and a graduate of the Common Purpose leadership programme. She is the author of “The WiseWolf Job Search Pocket Book: How to Win Jobs and Influence Recruiters” as well as two novels and a number of articles on management and well-being. Her latest publication is a little eBook; “How to Get on With the Boss.”  You can contact Wendy at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Danger – Red Light flashing. Toxic Manager About!

How well do you get on with your manager? Easy question really, isn’t it? You would be surprised how many people are not clear about the answer. They don’t know what the manager/team leader/supervisor really thinks about them, or the work they do. Sometimes, this is because they, themselves, lack the communication skills necessary to understand the message the manager is sending. Sometimes, it is because the manager doesn’t communicate well with the rest of the team.

Getting on well with the boss matters hugely in terms of your career success. Plus, the stress caused when things go wrong can have a negative effect on your health and well-being. Stress can lead to anxiety and depression which in turn affect life at home as well as at work.

You can find out how you’re doing by listening and watching how the person in charge behaves. You need to observe not only how they behave with you, but also how they behave with other people. It is easier, of course, if you have frequent contact with your manager. But, even if you do not, you can try to learn as much as possible about them and how they behave from others. Ask your questions with care, though, you don’t want it to get back that you think you may have a problem.

Here is a mini-health-check based on one in my little eBook; “How to Get on With Boss.”  It will help you get clearer about the relationship climate in your workplace.

Signs that all is well;

• You belong to a happy team who work well together
• You feel accepted by all
• Each day your manager greets you and the others by name
• Everyone feels at ease with him/her
• You get regular and constructive feedback from your manager
• You are not worried about asking for help when you need it
• If something does go wrong you feel you can tell your manager about it and get a reasonable response.

If most of these things are happening for you, all is well and you are getting on well with our manager. Celebrate because, unfortunately, I suspect you are one of the happy few.

Signs that all is not well;

• The team is generally unhappy
• Everyone moans about your manager
• The manager doesn’t seem to know who you are
• The manager doesn’t seem to want to know anything about you
• They don’t offer support
• Feedback, if you get it, is definitely not positive
• People are afraid to ask for help
• Everyone is frightened of telling the boss when something goes wrong
• People feel threatened
• There is lots of gossip but no one really knows what is going on “up the line” or elsewhere in the organization

Signs like this mean that all is not well. Neither you, nor the other members of the team, are getting on with the person in charge. You need to take action to ensure your toxic manager doesn’t damage you, your career, your health or your happiness. You can find out more about my little eBook at this link.

Wendy Smith is a personal coach and writer at Wisewolf Coaching. She is a qualified coach and a member of the Association for Coaching as well as being a member of the Institute of Consulting and a graduate of the Common Purpose leadership programme. Wendy holds an advanced diploma in life coaching and a graduate certificate in confidence coaching. She is the author of “The WiseWolf Job Search Pocket Book: How to Win Jobs and Influence Recruiters” and her new eBook; “How to Get on With the Boss,” as well as two novels and a number of articles on management and well-being.  You can contact Wendy at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Beware the Interview Bully!

Wendy Mason Career Coach, Life Coach and Writer

As a career coach, I hear all kinds of stories about the whims, fancies and bad behaviour of employers/managers. Often, the lack of imagination or self-interest exhibited appalls me. Why having taken the trouble to seek out a good employee, would you not want to manage them in a way that allows them to give their best?

Unfortunately, employers/managers can be as troubled as the rest of us by lack of confidence or self-esteem and the need to prove our power at the expense of others.

Often, people find themselves working for a poor boss in a job they otherwise love that pays well. And advising them is one of the greatest challenges I face as a coach. Leaving a good, well-paid, job to face unemployment isn’t the first choice for anyone.

I do think, though, you should think carefully about taking a job for an employer when it has been clear at the interview that there are may be problems.

Some potential bosses behave so badly during the interview that I don’t understand why more candidates don’t walk out there and then.

I hear a lot of stories about interviewers performing dubiously. The interviewer who doesn’t listen to your answers, may be the least of the challenges. Questions can verge on the edge of illegal discrimination, sometimes crossing the line. I have had heard reports of questioning so insistent and aggressive, it amounted to bullying.

In my view, in those circumstances, not only don’t you take the job, it is reasonable to quit the interview at that point.

I understand that people may be desperate to find work. But a potential employer, who behaves badly at an interview, is unlikely to turn into a good boss once you start the job. Think carefully before you decide the package is so attractive, you will take a chance you may live to regret bitterly.

You might want to see also my post on the jealous boss at this link

I wish all those starting out on or a continuing a job search this week every success.

If you are thinking about coaching, and we coaches really can add value to your job search, I would love to talk to you.

Warm regards

Wendy
wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com
http://wisewolfcoaching.com
UK: +44 (0) 2081239146
US: +1 262 317 9016
Mobile: +44 (0) 7867681439 IM: wendymason14 (Skype)

Getting on With The Boss

Wendy Mason Career Coach and author of The WiseWolf Job Search Pocket Book; How to Win Friends and Influence Recruiters – pre-order on Amazon

So many people I work with or meet raise this as an issue.  So I’m returning to it again.

I don’t know anyone who at some point in their professional life hasn’t had some worries about establishing a good working relationship with their manager.

And remember folks that is what it is about; a good working relationship.

You don’t have to be best friends. You just need to establish a relationship that allows you to work constructively with each other.

With this relationship, as with others, at the heart lies a need for good communication. The reality is that not all managers are blessed with good communication skills. With some managers, they have the skills but, for one reason or another, are not choosing to use them effectively.

So, as a worker in a silent vacuum, you try to make sense of what is going on.

The super confident may well assume; “Well I must be doing well or she/he would say something.” But many of us are less than super confident, particularly when starting a new job. We assume no news is bad news. We may even start to interpret body language, and how the boss behaves towards others, as sending some kind of message for us. Often our interpretation and our assumptions are wrong.

If your manager has not opened up communication with you, then you need to open up communication with them.

First, take some time out to think about what you want to ask and what information you require to do your job well. Then think how to put your requests into words. Now, you are ready to book some time in your manager’s diary.

Pick a time when they are likely to be fresh but not immediately after they arrive in the office and need to check their in-tray. You don’t want them distracted by emails rather than listening to you. Always open the conversation by referring to some positive points about your job and the organization. Then, when you have their attention, present your points clearly but without personal criticism. Make sure they know that you appreciate how busy they are and make sure you thank them for their time.

Follow up by suggesting you have regular, but not necessarily frequent, touchdown meetings.

I am sure that if you prepare properly, you will handle this well and both you and your boss will be pleased you took the initiative.

I wish all those starting out on or a continuing a job search this week every success.

If you are thinking about coaching, and we coaches really can add value to your job search, I would love to talk to you.

Warm regards

Wendy
wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com
http://wisewolfcoaching.com
UK: +44 (0) 2081239146
US: +1 262 317 9016
Mobile: +44 (0) 7867681439 IM: wendymason14 (Skype)
Pre-order “The WiseWolf Job Search Pocket Book: How to Win Jobs and Influence Recruiters” from my Amazon page at this linkhttp://www.amazon.co.uk/Wendy-Mason/e/B00BEV22L4/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

Leading a Team Through its Conflicts

Wendy Mason: Career Coach and author of The WiseWolf Job Search Pocket Book due to be published in September 2014

When a new group comes together there may well be all kinds of tensions among them. They may begin to debate how they should go forward. What are the priorities going to be and who is going to take which role in the team? What systems and processes are going to be put in place? 

Differences of opinion and beliefs can lead to conflict and they may begin to jockey for position. Power struggles can break out, particularly if you have a number of strong personalities vying to lead. They may begin to challenge you as group leader and cliques may form. 

So what can you do? The team needs to be focused on its goals to avoid becoming distracted by relationship and emotional issues. Some compromises will need to be made and you will need to help them find the middle ground. 

A good way to start is to show them the benefits of what you are trying to do. There needs to be lots of communication. The group needs to understand the importance of the task, the processes needed and their roles. 

If all is going well, the group will move on to agree some “norms” for working together.

But if you still have tensions, set down the ground rules for group behaviour and get the group to agree that they should treat each other with respect. You will need to keep a close eye on the debate – if it is about ideas, that is a good sign and they can be left to work it out if time allows. But if the debate becomes personal then you will need to intervene. Don’t suppress conflict completely because the group will stagnate and not learn to work together very well. This is where planning social events can help so that individuals begin to see each other in a more rounded way. 

If necessary, tighten up the goals and targets. Get the group to focus very sharply upon them and the benefits which will be lost if people are not ready to compromise and reach agreement. If cliques have formed, try putting people to work with others outside their chosen subgroup so that new relationships can be established. 

With your leadership, the team will come together and meet their goals. 

I wish all those starting out on or a continuing a job search this week every success. 

If you are thinking about coaching, and we coaches really can add value to your job search, I would love to talk to you. 

Warm regards 

Wendy 
wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com 
http://wisewolfcoaching.com 
UK: +44 (0) 2081239146 
US: +1 262 317 9016 
Mobile: +44 (0) 7867681439 IM: wendymason14 (Skype)

Giving Feedback to an Unsuccessful Candidate

Wendy Mason is a Career Coach and Writer with Life Coaching Skills

In all kinds of situations you may need to give feedback to someone about something they have said or done. This could be an employee, a work colleague or a business partner. But here I had in mind giving feedback to a candidate after unsuccessful job interview.

1. Prepare for the discussion. Be clear about what you want to say and make sure you can support it with evidence.
2. During the discussion think before you speak! Don’t make ad hoc remarks that imply, for example, that you personally would have made a different decision.
3. Stay positive. This doesn’t mean not giving constructive criticism about gaps but do make sure you balance criticisms with clarity about what you did like.
4. Be specific. Avoid general comments and try to be as clear and simple as you can!
5. Focus on evidence presented of competence rather than the person and their personality.
6. Stay in the neutral ground emotionally but accept that it is reasonable for the candidate to feel disappointed.
7. Own the feedback. If you have been part of the interviewing panel, then own the feedback, it is about “we” not about “the panel.”
8. Empathize. Always put yourself in the other person’s shoes! Think how you would feel receiving the same information! No room here for humiliation!

I wish all those starting out on or a continuing a job search this week every success.

If you are thinking about coaching, and we coaches really can add value to your job search, I would love to talk to you.

Warm regards

Wendy
wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com 
http://wisewolfcoaching.com
UK: +44 (0) 2081239146
US: +1 262 317 9016
Mobile: +44 (0) 7867681439 IM: wendymason14 (Skype)