When your manager won’t talk to you!

Sadly, there seem to be a good number of managers who have problems talking to their staff.  I don’t mean the exchange of every day courtesies like Good Morning and Good Night. Although, there seem to be some who have problems uttering those simple phrases on a regular basis. What I want to talk about here is the manager who doesn’t tell you what she really thinks about your work.

If the manager says nothing, it can be very frustrating. It increases pressure and can lead to stress. You think you are doing OK, but you have no real way of knowing whether your manager agrees.

The “boss” may be pleasant. She comes in everyday and wishes you good morning. She might even ask how you are doing. But there is no real engagement. She doesn’t encourage you to give anything but the most perfunctory of answers. And she certainly doesn’t comment on the quality of your performance. Meanwhile, you are desperate to know what she really thinks and you’ve begun to suspect the worst.

This situation can feel totally demoralising. So, what can you do?

Well, you have to grasp the nettle and ask for the feedback that isn’t being volunteered.

Here is how to go about it.

First, gather your own evidence about your performance, for example, samples of your work, feedback from customers and statistics about results. Then, think about the questions you want to ask and how you are going to ask them; you don’t want to alienate your boss, if you can avoid it.

Now, ask for some time to talk. Choose your moment carefully – avoid times when your boss is likely to be under pressure or, for example, about to go to an important meeting. Make sure you get the appointment into the boss’s diary and that there is enough time for a proper discussion. Ideally, you need at least 30 minutes but not before, or immediately after, an event on which your boss needs to concentrate.

At the meeting, make sure you emphasize that it is your boss’s interests, as well as your own, that you care about. You want to make sure that you are doing the job the boss needs you to do. Avoid getting into arguments or being confrontational. Use the evidence you have collected; particularly, if you face any criticism you consider unjustified.

You are likely to pleasantly surprised; your boss is probably very happy with what you’re doing.  But, if she isn’t, you need to be told that so that you can begin to put things right.  Whatever the real situation, there is nothing to be gained by not knowing. Grasp that nettle and help your boss to help you succeed.

Wendy Smith is a personal coach and writer at Wisewolf Coaching. She is a qualified coach and a member of the Association for Coaching as well as being a member of the Institute of Consulting and a graduate of the Common Purpose leadership programme.  Wendy is author of “The WiseWolf Job Search Pocket Book: How to Win Jobs and Influence Recruiters” as well as two novels and a number of articles on management and well-being. Her latest publication is a little eBook; “How to Get on With the Boss.”  You can contact Wendy at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Do you have an ability to bounce back?

A quality that marks out many successful people is their resilience. They seem to have an outstanding ability to bounce back.

Psychological resilience is about how well you deal with stress, resolve problems and handle misfortune. No one goes through life without set-backs. Issues that test your ability to bounce back can emerge at work or outside. Health problems and financial pressures may require great resilience to handle. With resilience you can usually bounce back from misfortune.

Some people seem born with this natural ability to bounce back. But, if you are not so lucky, resilience is a skill that can be learned by virtually anyone. It is strengthened by an optimistic outlook and a positive approach to life. Resilience is about coming out of a deeply stressful situation strengthened and having learned from the experience.

Resilience is best understood as a process. This includes;

• Knowing how to analyse what is going on around you
• Making plans to handle the situation
• Having confidence in your ability to carry out your plans
• Knowing how to communicate and get support when you need it
• Handling your strong feelings and emotions.

People who look for the best in any situation, are prepared to be flexible in their approach and focused on solving problems, seem most resilient. A sense of humour in the face of adversity always helps; humour seems to improve the immune system. People with perseverance and passion for their long-term goals often manage to overcome huge obstacles on the way.

The American Psychological Association suggests “10 Ways to Build Resilience.” These are:

1. Maintaining good relationships with family and friends
2. Avoiding seeing crises or stressful events as unbearable problems
3. Learning to accept what cannot be changed
4. Developing realistic goals and moving towards them
5. Taking decisive actions in adverse situations
6. Looking for opportunities for self-discovery after a struggle with loss
7. Developing self-confidence
8. Keeping a long-term perspective and considering the stressful event in a broader context
9. Maintaining a hopeful outlook, expecting good things and visualizing what is wished for
10. Taking care of your mind and body, exercising regularly; paying attention to your own needs and feelings

Unfortunately, there can be many circumstances in life which militate against the development of all these characteristics in early life. Luckily you can take steps to develop your resilience at any time. It is never too early or too late to start learning to bounce.

Wendy Smith is a personal coach and writer at Wisewolf Coaching. She is a qualified coach and a member of the Association for Coaching as well as being a member of the Institute of Consulting and a graduate of the Common Purpose leadership programme. She is the author of “The WiseWolf Job Search Pocket Book: How to Win Jobs and Influence Recruiters” as well as two novels and a number of articles on management and well-being. Her new latest publication is a little eBook; “How to Get on With the Boss,”  You can contact Wendy at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Danger – Red Light flashing. Toxic Manager About!

How well do you get on with your manager? Easy question really, isn’t it? You would be surprised how many people are not clear about the answer. They don’t know what the manager/team leader/supervisor really thinks about them, or the work they do. Sometimes, this is because they, themselves, lack the communication skills necessary to understand the message the manager is sending. Sometimes, it is because the manager doesn’t communicate well with the rest of the team.

Getting on well with the boss matters hugely in terms of your career success. Plus, the stress caused when things go wrong can have a negative effect on your health and well-being. Stress can lead to anxiety and depression which in turn affect life at home as well as at work.

You can find out how you’re doing by listening and watching how the person in charge behaves. You need to observe not only how they behave with you, but also how they behave with other people. It is easier, of course, if you have frequent contact with your manager. But, even if you do not, you can try to learn as much as possible about them and how they behave from others. Ask your questions with care, though, you don’t want it to get back that you think you may have a problem.

Here is a mini-health-check based on one in my little eBook; “How to Get on With Boss.”  It will help you get clearer about the relationship climate in your workplace.

Signs that all is well;

• You belong to a happy team who work well together
• You feel accepted by all
• Each day your manager greets you and the others by name
• Everyone feels at ease with him/her
• You get regular and constructive feedback from your manager
• You are not worried about asking for help when you need it
• If something does go wrong you feel you can tell your manager about it and get a reasonable response.

If most of these things are happening for you, all is well and you are getting on well with our manager. Celebrate because, unfortunately, I suspect you are one of the happy few.

Signs that all is not well;

• The team is generally unhappy
• Everyone moans about your manager
• The manager doesn’t seem to know who you are
• The manager doesn’t seem to want to know anything about you
• They don’t offer support
• Feedback, if you get it, is definitely not positive
• People are afraid to ask for help
• Everyone is frightened of telling the boss when something goes wrong
• People feel threatened
• There is lots of gossip but no one really knows what is going on “up the line” or elsewhere in the organization

Signs like this mean that all is not well. Neither you, nor the other members of the team, are getting on with the person in charge. You need to take action to ensure your toxic manager doesn’t damage you, your career, your health or your happiness. You can find out more about my little eBook at this link.

Wendy Smith is a personal coach and writer at Wisewolf Coaching. She is a qualified coach and a member of the Association for Coaching as well as being a member of the Institute of Consulting and a graduate of the Common Purpose leadership programme. Wendy holds an advanced diploma in life coaching and a graduate certificate in confidence coaching. She is the author of “The WiseWolf Job Search Pocket Book: How to Win Jobs and Influence Recruiters” and her new eBook; “How to Get on With the Boss,” as well as two novels and a number of articles on management and well-being.  You can contact Wendy at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Authenticity, Advantages and Awareness

Wendy Mason: Writer and Coach

To do well in managing your career, and in job search, it helps if you keep in mind the three “As”; authenticity, advantages and awareness.

In any job search or work situation you are more likely to succeed if you can be authentic, understand and use the advantages you bring to a situation and know how to make others aware of those advantages.

Authenticity means knowing and showing who you are and your values. It depends on knowing what you want to achieve in life and to what you are committed. Spend time to be clear about
what you care about most and accept the implications of putting that at the centre of what you do and how you behave. Authenticity at a job interview means that your answers ring true and you are much more likely to form a constructive relationship with panel members.

Understanding what you are good at, your advantages, allows you to contribute fully in whatever you are doing. Hone your skills. Learn to be good enough at what is essential but be proud to excel at those things you do well. Accept that others are good at different things. If you are confident in your own abilities, you can accept what they have to offer. If you are job searching, be clear about the real advantages you would bring to any new job opportunity and how you will contribute to the team.

Look for opportunities to let the people who matter know what you have to give. Their awareness means you should be given the chance to use your gifts. How sad it would be to have them but not be able to use them. If you are job searching, think about getting your name out there by showing expertise through writing articles, speaking at meetings of your professional association or, perhaps, doing some voluntary work.

I wish all those starting out on or a continuing a job search this week every success.

Warm regards

Wendy
wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com
http://wisewolfcoaching.com
UK: +44 (0) 2081239146
US: +1 262 317 9016
Mobile: +44 (0) 7867681439 IM: wendymason14 (Skype)

Beware the Interview Bully!

Wendy Mason Career Coach, Life Coach and Writer

As a career coach, I hear all kinds of stories about the whims, fancies and bad behaviour of employers/managers. Often, the lack of imagination or self-interest exhibited appalls me. Why having taken the trouble to seek out a good employee, would you not want to manage them in a way that allows them to give their best?

Unfortunately, employers/managers can be as troubled as the rest of us by lack of confidence or self-esteem and the need to prove our power at the expense of others.

Often, people find themselves working for a poor boss in a job they otherwise love that pays well. And advising them is one of the greatest challenges I face as a coach. Leaving a good, well-paid, job to face unemployment isn’t the first choice for anyone.

I do think, though, you should think carefully about taking a job for an employer when it has been clear at the interview that there are may be problems.

Some potential bosses behave so badly during the interview that I don’t understand why more candidates don’t walk out there and then.

I hear a lot of stories about interviewers performing dubiously. The interviewer who doesn’t listen to your answers, may be the least of the challenges. Questions can verge on the edge of illegal discrimination, sometimes crossing the line. I have had heard reports of questioning so insistent and aggressive, it amounted to bullying.

In my view, in those circumstances, not only don’t you take the job, it is reasonable to quit the interview at that point.

I understand that people may be desperate to find work. But a potential employer, who behaves badly at an interview, is unlikely to turn into a good boss once you start the job. Think carefully before you decide the package is so attractive, you will take a chance you may live to regret bitterly.

You might want to see also my post on the jealous boss at this link

I wish all those starting out on or a continuing a job search this week every success.

If you are thinking about coaching, and we coaches really can add value to your job search, I would love to talk to you.

Warm regards

Wendy
wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com
http://wisewolfcoaching.com
UK: +44 (0) 2081239146
US: +1 262 317 9016
Mobile: +44 (0) 7867681439 IM: wendymason14 (Skype)

September; Time for a Fresh Start

 

Fresh Starts

Wendy Mason Career Coach and author of The WiseWolf Job Search Pocket Book – pre-order on Amazon. LinkedIn Group Top Contributor

I find the beginning of September is a great time to take stock, look over what has happened so far in both calendar and financial years, and commit to a fresh start.

Here we are at the beginning of the academic term, when most organizations go back up to full power having got over the holiday break period.

This is a great time to get out those objectives you signed up to a while ago and see whether they are still relevant. How about writing some new ones?

It is also a great time to review your continuing profession development plan or your personal development plan. If you don’t have either yet, now is the time to set them up. There is still time to sign up for many part-time and evening courses at further education colleges. How about setting up a reading list of books to read between now and the end of the calendar year?

If you looking for work or thinking about some kind of career change, now is the time to get organized and commit to the work you will need to do. Your networking contacts are likely to around now with some slots still vacant in their diaries.

If you have been looking for work for a while now, perhaps it is time to take stock and see if there is something you should consider doing differently. Look at our group posts over the last few months – is there something useful to you?

I wish all those starting out on or a continuing a job search this week every success.

If you are thinking about coaching, and we coaches really can add value to your job search, I would love to talk to you.

Warm regards

Wendy
wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com
http://wisewolfcoaching.com
UK: +44 (0) 2081239146
US: +1 262 317 9016
Mobile: +44 (0) 7867681439 IM: wendymason14 (Skype)
Pre-order “The WiseWolf Job Search Pocket Book: How to Win Jobs and Influence Recruiters” from my Amazon page at this linkhttp://www.amazon.co.uk/Wendy-Mason/e/B00BEV22L4/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

Get a Diploma or Certificate In Your Desired Career Field To Increase Your Self-Confidence

 Today we have a guest post from Tamara M. Williams, an EzineArticles Platinum Level Expert Author. She publishes articles on various topics. Visit her profile page on EzineArticles to learn more.

When you study a new or advanced topic in an area of interest you increase your knowledge and skills. It is possible to study without earning an online diploma or certificate. However, having one makes it easier for you to increase your list of accomplishments. This shows your commitment and dedication to yourself and your career. In addition, it adds a great boost to your self-confidence. This furthers your personal and career development and increases your level of success in life.

E-Learning Providers

There are many blog posts, eBooks, webinars, training videos and a lot of other content on various career fields. These are easy to use and help you to quickly learn the topic that you have an interest in. However, an online course provides a more structured approach. By using them, you learn a wider variety of information in one convenient place. Some e-learning providers are universalclass.com, coursera.org, udemy.com and alison.com. They offer courses such as Social Media Marketing, Customer Service, Project Management, and Workplace Safety and Health.

Benefits of Online Courses

There are many benefits when taking online courses. Courses can last from a few weeks up to a few months, so you can choose one based on your free time. Some courses are self-paced which offers flexibility. Others are instructor-led which offers more guidance. They are also more convenient because you can get access to the materials 24/7s. Plus, you can communicate with the instructor and other students for help or to offer suggestions. It takes time and commitment to study, but doing so opens the way for career advancement.

Increase Your Self-Confidence

A certificate or diploma increases your list of accomplishments which builds your self-confidence.  Yourdictionary.com defines self-confidence as “a person’s belief or trust in their own ability”. Self-confidence increases your determination to take on new or challenging projects at work. You feel encouraged to ask for a promotion or apply for a new job or step into a new career field. It helps you to acknowledge mistakes or failures and learn from them. It allows you take more risks to meet your career goals. Therefore, getting qualifications in your career field increases your belief in yourself to succeed.

Completing online diplomas or certificates will help you learn valuable information and skills on various topics for your career field. This adds to your accomplishments and increases your self-confidence. Self-confidence will help you advance in your existing or new career, which will increase your level of success in life.

About The Author:

Tamara M. Williams is an EzineArticles Platinum Level Expert Author. She publishes articles on various topics. Visit her profile page on EzineArticles to learn more.

Getting on With The Boss

Wendy Mason Career Coach and author of The WiseWolf Job Search Pocket Book; How to Win Friends and Influence Recruiters – pre-order on Amazon

So many people I work with or meet raise this as an issue.  So I’m returning to it again.

I don’t know anyone who at some point in their professional life hasn’t had some worries about establishing a good working relationship with their manager.

And remember folks that is what it is about; a good working relationship.

You don’t have to be best friends. You just need to establish a relationship that allows you to work constructively with each other.

With this relationship, as with others, at the heart lies a need for good communication. The reality is that not all managers are blessed with good communication skills. With some managers, they have the skills but, for one reason or another, are not choosing to use them effectively.

So, as a worker in a silent vacuum, you try to make sense of what is going on.

The super confident may well assume; “Well I must be doing well or she/he would say something.” But many of us are less than super confident, particularly when starting a new job. We assume no news is bad news. We may even start to interpret body language, and how the boss behaves towards others, as sending some kind of message for us. Often our interpretation and our assumptions are wrong.

If your manager has not opened up communication with you, then you need to open up communication with them.

First, take some time out to think about what you want to ask and what information you require to do your job well. Then think how to put your requests into words. Now, you are ready to book some time in your manager’s diary.

Pick a time when they are likely to be fresh but not immediately after they arrive in the office and need to check their in-tray. You don’t want them distracted by emails rather than listening to you. Always open the conversation by referring to some positive points about your job and the organization. Then, when you have their attention, present your points clearly but without personal criticism. Make sure they know that you appreciate how busy they are and make sure you thank them for their time.

Follow up by suggesting you have regular, but not necessarily frequent, touchdown meetings.

I am sure that if you prepare properly, you will handle this well and both you and your boss will be pleased you took the initiative.

I wish all those starting out on or a continuing a job search this week every success.

If you are thinking about coaching, and we coaches really can add value to your job search, I would love to talk to you.

Warm regards

Wendy
wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com
http://wisewolfcoaching.com
UK: +44 (0) 2081239146
US: +1 262 317 9016
Mobile: +44 (0) 7867681439 IM: wendymason14 (Skype)
Pre-order “The WiseWolf Job Search Pocket Book: How to Win Jobs and Influence Recruiters” from my Amazon page at this linkhttp://www.amazon.co.uk/Wendy-Mason/e/B00BEV22L4/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

Giving Feedback to an Unsuccessful Candidate

Wendy Mason is a Career Coach and Writer with Life Coaching Skills

In all kinds of situations you may need to give feedback to someone about something they have said or done. This could be an employee, a work colleague or a business partner. But here I had in mind giving feedback to a candidate after unsuccessful job interview.

1. Prepare for the discussion. Be clear about what you want to say and make sure you can support it with evidence.
2. During the discussion think before you speak! Don’t make ad hoc remarks that imply, for example, that you personally would have made a different decision.
3. Stay positive. This doesn’t mean not giving constructive criticism about gaps but do make sure you balance criticisms with clarity about what you did like.
4. Be specific. Avoid general comments and try to be as clear and simple as you can!
5. Focus on evidence presented of competence rather than the person and their personality.
6. Stay in the neutral ground emotionally but accept that it is reasonable for the candidate to feel disappointed.
7. Own the feedback. If you have been part of the interviewing panel, then own the feedback, it is about “we” not about “the panel.”
8. Empathize. Always put yourself in the other person’s shoes! Think how you would feel receiving the same information! No room here for humiliation!

I wish all those starting out on or a continuing a job search this week every success.

If you are thinking about coaching, and we coaches really can add value to your job search, I would love to talk to you.

Warm regards

Wendy
wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com 
http://wisewolfcoaching.com
UK: +44 (0) 2081239146
US: +1 262 317 9016
Mobile: +44 (0) 7867681439 IM: wendymason14 (Skype)

How To Do Well at Assessment Centres!

These are more tips from my new book called The WiseWolf Job Search Pocket Book: How to Win Jobs and Influence Recruiters. It is due to be published in September 2014. Email info@bluebirdhousebooks.com for more information

Here are my top tips for handling assessment centres

1. Be Yourself! Work on the basis the assessors know what they are doing. They will be able to see through an act. Keep your wits about you and show your best but try to relax enough to let the real you shine through. You may want to use a simple relaxed breathing technique during the odd break.
2. Know the criteria. Usually, the assessors will be assessing you against a predefined list of qualities and competencies for the job. For most public sector jobs you’ll probably know what these are before the event. In the private sector, openness can vary. But you should try to find out the criteria before the assessment centre. If you applied through a recruitment agency they should be able to help. At the very least, the job description will usually give you an indication of the qualities they are looking for.
3. Manage your time carefully. Many candidates at assessment centres fail to do themselves justice because they run out of time in the exercises. Where you have to read a brief and then do an exercise afterwards, start by skim reading to get an idea of the issues. Then go back and study important points more carefully. Keep an eye on your watch and allocate your time carefully.
4. Don’t put other candidates down. Remember at an assessment centre you are unlikely to be measured directly against each other. You are being measured against the criteria for the role. Scoring points off others in group exercises doesn’t make you look good. It makes you look like a non-team player and that is not likely to make the assessors warm to you. Your best strategy is usually to support, not to compete.
5. Practice if you can. It really helps if you can run through possible exercises with someone you trust as preparation for the centre. You will find organizations that offer paid-for practice online.
6. Listen carefully to all instructions. Know what you are doing and show you are doing it. Listen carefully to all instructions and show you are listening through your body language.
7. Interact with the assessors. If there is an opportunity to interact with the assessors, say at lunch time, then make the most of it. But don’t be a nuisance and certainly don’t hog the limelight. You want to make an impression memorable for the right reasons.

These are more tips from my new book called The WiseWolf Job Search Pocket Book: How to Win Jobs and Influence Recruiters. It is due to be published in September 2014. Email info@bluebirdhousebooks.com for more information